Title: A Piece Of Cake
Characters: Idia, Malleus, Silver, Sebek, Lilia, Marja, Villagers, Stallholder
JP Proofreader: okaykei
EN Proofreader: Miles
Part 1
Harveston - Outside Assembly Hall
Sebek
Huff! Huff! Huff! Huff! Huff! Huff! Huff! Huff! Huff! Huff! Huff! Huff!
ALRIGHT! I'M DONE WITH PUSH UPS FOR THE DAY!
What type of training should I do next? I'm already done with my stretches, running, and squats…
Right! I'll train by drawing water from the well!
Turn the handle, and pull the bucket full of water up…
*Splish-splash…*
Sebek
AND ONCE I'VE DRAWN THE WATER, I'LL LOWER THE BUCKET ONCE AGAIN!
*SPLAAAASSHH!!*
Idia
U-Umm… Sir Sebek, it's still dawn, so like… Could you quiet down a little?
Sebek
Dawn, you say? It's already past six in the morning. Why don't you wash up, have some breakfast or go on a walk or something?
Otherwise, could it be that you're here to train with me, Idia?
Idia
train? me? who are you kidding lol
in the first place, 6am is definitely sleep time for nocturnals like yours truly! i'd prefer if you didn't wake me up with all your noise!
Sebek
How pathetic of you! You may be a fellow dorm leader of Lord Malleus's, but you really are leagues beneath his esteemed self.
Marja
Good morning, darlings.
Sebek
Morning, Marja. If you're searching for Epel, he's cleaning up the assembly hall.
Marja
Oh, thank you for informing me, dear. I didn't come here with the intention of meeting him, however.
I'm actually here to split the firewood required for the fireplace. Today might also turn chilly, you see.
Idia
what? splitting firewood this early…? too OP…
Marja
Why, it's alright, really. It's a simple task since I'll be using this log splitter. This can make quick work of even the thickest of logs.
Sebek
Hmph. Depending on machinery to split logs shows just how weak you really are… This is why you humans are so…!
Idia
hah? what's wrong with using machines? ever heard of the word "optimisation"?
Sebek
The only thing you can truly rely on in times of need is your very own body itself. What would you do if your machinery were to break right as you needed it?
Idia
fix it up and problem solved~ no machine is unfixable by yours truly after all
Marja
You just have to place your log here, start up the engine, and… Oh?
Not a single peep or gesture from it. Is it broken, by any chance?
Oh, dear, this is quite the bother. Even if I were to order a replacement right now, it would take at least half a month to be delivered…
Sebek
Look at that. It broke down the second we brought it up. Hey, why don't you get to fixing it, human?
Idia
What…? Such a pain, though… I just wanna go back to sleep…
Sebek
What's that? Looks like all that talk earlier about being able to fix any machine was just plain old hyperbole in the end.
Idia
HAH? hyperbole??? do u not realise that fixing up a meager machine like this would legit be so easy that it'd bore me to tears??????
madame marja, allow me to borrow your log splitter for a bit. i'm gonna show a certain fool whose only strength lies in his brute force what i've got!
*Idia leaves*
Sebek
Hmph! I shall go ahead and split the logs while Idia's fixing it, then.
Marja
My goodness, dear, will you truly? It'd be such a great help if you did.
Sebek
I don't mind. Splitting logs can be a form of physical training. Plus, it'd allow me to train my core muscles as well.
I was stumped while trying to train earlier since I didn't have any training gear here, so this works out just right for me.
*Chop! Chop! Chop!*
Sebek
Phew… With that, the logs here have all been chopped.
Marja
This is quite the surprise… You chopped enough firewood to last an entire month in a split second! You were a lot quicker than the log splitter itself, even!
Sebek
This wasn't even enough work to be considered training. Do you have more woodchopping work that I could do?
Marja
Let me think… Since you've already chopped all the wood needed for the assembly hall… Would it be possible to request that you chop the logs at our home as well?
Sebek
Of course, no problem. Let us make haste and head to your homestead!
Harveston - Epel's Home
*Chop! Chop! Chop!*
Marja
Oh, Sebek, you've been a tremendous help. Ahh, I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for all you've done.
Sebek
It's simple, really. This much is a piece of cake.
Villager A
Oh, wot a bother…
Sebek
Hm? What's going on? That villager just emerged from the neighbouring house…
Villager A
D'ye mind choppin' firewood fir me, too?
I'd usually do it mi'sen, but it's tough, tha si. Since tha young folks are 'ere, would ya mind gi'in' us a wee 'and 'ere, as well?
Sebek
Hmph! All you humans here in Harveston sure are weak in will.
Alright, show me the way!
Part 2
Harveston - Apple Square
Sebek
Hiyah!!!
*Chop! Chop! Chop!*
Villager B
Tha name's Sebek, aye? Tan'y so much, yer an absolute star.
Sebek
That's the fifth house now. I chopped the wood for all the families living in this area after I was lead here, but…it still doesn't feel enough.
Villager A
The firewood's all reight now…but there's one more favour I'd laik t' ask of ye if ye don't mind.
Harveston
Sebek
All I have to do is to get this crate of freshly picked apples to Kokko Market?
Villager A
Aye, aye. Th' plan is t' use these t' make summat like apple pie or apple juice, ye si.
T' nutrients of apples picked in t' mornin' 'alves by the taim evenin' rolls around, and t' sugar content drops too. But then…
Sebek
You ended up having to rely on your wheelbarrow to transport them since your car's currently in use…I see now.
Really now… Struggling over such a miniscule matter truly leaves me too flabbergasted for words. Leave the transportation to me, and be sure to thank me while you're at it!
Harveston - Outside Assembly Hall
Idia
Ah…Sir Sebek and Madame Marja are back…
Marja
Apologies for being so tardy, love. You see, dear Sebek here was just so very popular in the village.
Sebek
I was asked for help wherever we went, and it ended up taking a lot out of me. But it's also thanks to them that I could work up a good sweat!
Idia
Heehee! You may be late to the party, but it's time to bid farewell to manual labour like that!
Because I've fixed up the log splitter!
Marja
My, my, have you now? Thank you so much, Idia, love.
Idia
Both its horsepower and user-friendliness have been boosted greatly! It's about to turn the world of log splitters on its head!
I'll be switching it on then… Enhanced Hyper-powered Harveston Log Splitter Mk-I, I command thee, rise!
*Chop chop chop chop chop chop!*
Sebek
…It split such a thick log into two perfect halves like it was nothing. I suppose this shows that machinery is also not one to be underestimated after all.
Idia
Fuheeheehee… How d'you like that?! Feast your eyes on this overwhelming power! Its output has been boosted by 400%!
Marja
I-It's certainly as amazing as you say…but it splits the logs so quickly that I'm quite afraid that my hand might easily get caught in it by accident.
Idia
Worry not, for it has a safety mechanism. It automatically stalls when its sensor detects that the user is in immediate danger.
When you place a log on this tray, an automated scan of its size will be conducted. The data from that will then be used by the AI to both adjust and finetune its power accordingly so that…
Marja
…Huh? What was that?
I couldn't catch a word of what you just said… Pardon my frankness, but I don't think this is fit for us elderly folk to use.
Idia
Wha-? Oh, no no, it's perfectly okay to use. Easy! Multipurpose! Safe! Efficient!
Marja
Um… I'm deeply sorry, but is it possible for you to change it back to its original state?
Idia
…How can this be?! How can a user be unable to adapt to the specs of their appliance…?!
Sebek
I empathise with your pains, Marja. I was also ambushed by such perplexed feelings from the second I stepped out of my hometown of Briar Valley.
Convenient machinery is just like magic. Even if you're gifted with them, it doesn't necessarily mean that you can master their use instantly.
Idia
…I'll go ahead and reassemble it then… I've already fixed the fault, so it should be able to work as it used to.
Marja
That would be a delight. Thank you so much, Idia.
Idia
Oh man, who would've thought that this would end up being twice the effort it should. Really shoulda just left all the brute work to Sir Sebek to handle to begin with.
*Idia leaves*
Sebek
Hmph! This is proof that one's own body is truly reliable in times of need after all.
Villager A
O~i! O Sebek!
Sebek
Hm?
Villager A
I 'urt me back while werkin' in the fields…so Ahm reet thankful that tha could 'elp me chop me wood.
Villager C
I got 't express ahr thanks fer all ye did, too. If it weren't for ye, the apples wouldn't 'ave been delivered on taim.
Sebek
Hmph, it's not like that amount of work could wear me out. This is why you humans are so…
Villager A
Ta so much, Sebek dear. Please, tek these apples picked from morn' as a token of ahr appreciation.
Sebek
…This many?! There has to be tens of these in here… Don't you think this is too much to give?
Marja
Why, it's because everyone is that happy with you! Please, don't hesitate to accept them, dear.
Diasomnia Dorm - Lounge
-The next day
Lilia, Malleus & Silver
……
Sebek
…That was one such experience I had while I was there.
Malleus
Is that so? It is great that you could enjoy your time at your destination.
Sebek
No, sir! It wasn't fun in the slightest… I was put through so much trouble by the villagers.
Lilia
Kekeke, but it certainly didn't sound that way to us. What other experiences did you have at Harveston?
Sebek
Another event would be…
Harveston - Apple Square
Sebek
You wish to hand this soup to me?
Stallholder
Aye. S'just a salmon soup. Gi' thi'sen a good fill while it's still pipin' hot, fresh from t' stove, yeah?
Sebek
*blowing noises*… Gulp…
This is delicious! The salmon is exceptionally good! It's so silky that it melts in my mouth. It must have been simmered for just the right amount of time!
The herbs used in the broth also add a fresh flavour to it! It fits the salmon so well!
On top of that, it's warming me up! It's truly a life saver since I was freezing to my very bones up till now!
But giving this out for free is beyond comprehension… Are you sure this is fine? This is stock that you're selling, right?
Stallholder
Why, Ahm just reet chuffed that tha young lads came 't Harveston! Tek 'e soup, it's on the 'ouse!
Sebek
What a magnanimous village this is… Don't you think you're all too laid-back?
Diasomnia Dorm - Lounge
Sebek
…That was another incident that happened while I was there.
The people of Harveston are always smiling…to the point where I could lose my mind.
Lilia
I see… It seems you were blessed with pleasant encounters.
Silver
Yeah. That's great, Sebek.
Sebek
W-Well… The trip was certainly not a bad one.
Malleus
Your tales of your excursion are truly intriguing. Could you tell me more about it in detail?
Sebek
Yes!
(May as well take the offer if Epel invites me over again. The villagers need me to split their logs and help with the farmwork, after all.)