Title: The Phantom Performer
Characters: Rui, Tsukasa, Emu, Nene, Nenerobo, Costumed Mascot
Man I reviewed this story while preparing the script to upload and damn i made quite a lot of mistakes. Hopefully it’s more coherent now, and i hope you enjoy!
Part 1
Phoenix Wonderland
Wonder Stage
Emu
Nene! Rui! Nenerobo! Thank you for partnering up with us ~
Tsukasa
Let’s make outstanding performances together from here on!
Rui
Yeah, it’s a pleasure.
Nenerobo
“…Pleased to meet you.”
Tsukasa
Now then, let’s start discussing about our show’s program immedia-
Costumed Mascot
Before you proceed, I have something to hand to Rui and Nene.
Rui
Oh? Could that be…
Costumed Mascot
Correct, these are the theme park’s staff entry passes.
Rui
Didn’t we only decide to join the team yesterday? I never knew passes were issued this quickly.
(This costumed person seems competent. Plus, he knows how to make the most out of himself.)
(He’s probably Emu’s bodyguard… or something like that?)
Thanks for your swift response. I’ll use it with my utmost gratitude.
Costumed Mascot
……
Rui
…Oh? It seems like you still have something to say.
Costumed Mascot
Yes. I would like you to fulfill one condition before using the pass.
The route you took to trespass on our premises… Would you please tell me where exactly it is?
Rui
That’s it?
Costumed Mascot
…What would you do if I said yes?
Rui
I did trespass to hold unauthorised performances whenever I liked, correct?
I thought it’d be impossible to just accept and treat me like any other cast member without imposing any penalty on me.
Costumed Mascot
I see, so that’s what you were concerned about…
Don’t worry. As long as you tell me the route you took to trespass, there will be no issue.
Rui
Really?
Costumed Mascot
It’s because you’re needed for the sake of Miss Emu’s stage.
Rui
…Needed, huh…
(To think that he would close the case just like this… Emu seems to have quite the influence.)
…Understood. I will show you the route I used for trespassing. After all, this will get you guys to officially accept me.
Emu
I’ll go too! I wanna see Rui’s secret escape path ~♪
Nenerobo
“…Me too. Staying behind with this guy is a bit…”
Tsukasa
Wh-what did you say!?
Rui
Haha! She didn’t say that with malice, so don’t worry. Nene’s just shy.
Tsukasa
You call this “shy”?
Rui
Then, shall we go together? If all four of us go, there’s no problem, right?
Nenerobo
“…Nope. Thanks.”
Rui
Here it is. This is the secret passage I used.
Costumed Mascot
Goodness! I never would have thought that it would be just next to the Wonder Stage… For us to overlook this blindspot…1
This needs to be sealed up for Miss Emu’s safety. Now, if you would excuse me.
Nenerobo
“…And he’s gone.”
Tsukasa
With that done, let’s go over it once more! It’s time for us to do what we’re supposed to do!
Everyone, take a look at this!
Nenerobo
“…A notebook?”
Tsukasa
I jotted down our plans for our performances in it!
Emu
Plans!? So it’s the “repay what you owe before the deadline” kind!2
Nenerobo
“You’re planning to take out a loan?”
Rui
Huh, you really put a lot of thought into these.
Tsukasa
Hu! Hu! Hu! Quite the productive worker, aren’t I? As you would expect from me!!
Nenerobo
“Hmm… The plans are unexpectedly well thought-out.”
Tsukasa
You didn’t have to add “unexpectedly”!
I devote all my energy into making sure that our performances will be a success! And that’s a must for all of us!
Rui
Ah… That’s right.
Let’s make a good show, Tsukasa.
Part 2
Phoenix Wonderland
Wonder Stage
Costumed Mascot
Your earlier performance was a great success.
A lot of guests expressed that they wish to watch more of your performances.
Tsukasa
Is that so? As long as they are happy to see us then that’s great!
Emu
Wonderhooooi! I’m so happy that we managed to get eeeeveryone to smile~
Oh, right! I want them to smile even more, so why don’t we hold our performances everyday?
Rui
Everyday, huh…
Nene
… That’s really impossible, I think.
Emu
Ehhh!? But why!? Did you come to hate performing!?
Nene
That’s not what I meant, it’s just…
Since we have school, it isn’t practical to perform daily…
Emu
Right…
Rui
Well, before I came here, I did perform daily on my own, though.
But if we were to coordinate all four of our schedules daily, that would be very difficult, don’t you think?
Tsukasa
And if our performances’ quality suffers thanks to that, it’ll be all for naught.
Emu
I see… That’s too bad but I guess there’s no other choice~
Rui
For now, why don’t we focus on performing on weekends? Visitors are also more likely to turn up, too.
Plus, there’s a lot we don’t know about what we could do for our performances…
Why don’t we experiment with different types of performances at this point in time?
Tsukasa
Experiment… You don’t mean it in the strange sense, right?
Rui
What do you mean by strange, hmm?
Tsukasa
Basically, human experiments-
Nene
Now, let’s set aside the question of whether you’ll be the lab rat for the experiments…
Tsukasa
Don’t do that!
Nene
Um… It’s fine if we continue to perform, but I think it isn’t possible for us to always put up the same show over and over. In such a situation, what do we plan to do?
Rui
I’m thinking of ways to respond to that issue, of course.
For now, we’ll carry on putting up “Tsukasalion”3 for our regular performances. As we do, we’ll write a new script and prepare for its exhibition.
Nene
But if we’re going to hold our regular performances while preparing for the next new one, wouldn’t its production time be pretty long…?
Rui
And I’ve also thought of what we could do in the meantime as we prepare a new script. While the script for our regular performances remains unchanged, we can throw in ad-libs or other arrangements.
This way, our performances won’t go stale and we can build up our regular patrons over time.
Tsukasa
I see. Some public performances do change up their content and scenes based on whether they’re held in the day or at night, too.
Rui
Hehe, I appreciate the quick understanding.
Tsukasa
Alright! Let’s stick with that for now, then!
Rui
Now that we’ve settled on our general course of action, let’s iron out the finer details.
Tsukasa
Right… Why don’t we decide on our practice schedule for our regular performances first?
If we refine our performing, then it would also be easier for us to arrange or add ad-libs in our performances, right?
Rui
Right. When are you guys available?
Tsukasa
…With our practice schedule fixed, we can finally start brainstorming for our next screenplay!
Rui
For the next one… Is there anything in particular you guys want to put up?
Emu
Yes, yes!! For the next show, I wanna do a fluffy one!
Tsukasa
Whatever you’re saying is abstract as usual…
Rui
Fluffy, huh… In that case, how about “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”?
Tsukasa
The one by Shakespeare? …What exactly is fluffy about that?
Rui
All the characters are fluffy, though? If you look at their heads.
Tsukasa
Oi! Although, if you put it that way, I get what you mean…
Emu
What’re you guys talking about? Nene, do you get it?
Nene
Well, I know what they’re talking about but… that play can’t be put up with just four actors.
Rui
There’s that, but we’ve a brilliant playwright/star actor right here, don’t we?
Tsukasa
…You’re gonna make me adapt the play to suit us!?
Rui
Why, even my skills as a director are itching to show off! Just how should I adapt that midsummer’s night…
Hmm… Perhaps I should change the ass’s head4 into a person’s?
Tsukasa
When you’re the one saying that I can’t think of it as a joke…
Emu
Sounds like fun~! Let’s do it!! I’ll play the fluffy role!
Tsukasa
You need to think a little more before you speak!
Rui
(…With this group, I still don’t know what kind of shows we’ll be good at, but…)
It would be great if our next performance can bring smiles to everyone’s faces.
Notes
- I rephrased this a little more liberally here.
まさか、ワンダーステージのそばにあったとは……。 いやはや盲点だった (To think it would be beside the Wonder Stage… Goodness gracious, it’s a blind spot.)
I still wanted the shock to be conveyed in the second sentence, while not going all the way as to say “god i’m so ashamed at this oversight” which would be a bit too much. Hence the “overlook” being added. (Return to text)
- When Tsukasa says “plan” in the earlier line, he used the loanword プラン (literally, plan). Emu misinterprets this because yes, the same word is used for the different loans and such. Hence the weird line here.
Also, interesting note about the exact line Emu drops here.
ご利用は計画的に (literally: [carefully] Plan how you use) is a cautionary phrase used to remind someone to think carefully before taking a loan. Also essentially has the meaning of “repay what you owe according to the plan/schedule”.
It can also be applied to general, not-so-unpleasant moneylending situations. In that case it’s just “make sure to use X carefully/dont overuse”.
Also also! It’s the title of a BL manga, in GBF as a title, and in Uma Musume (with a hearty pun of ご利用は戦略的に Use it strategically) The more you know! (Return to text)
- This is the first performance the group puts up in the Main Story. It was first mentioned in Episode 9. The -lion is used as a suffix, I presume. (Return to text)
- A direct reference to the scene in A Midsummer Night’s Dream where an ass’s head is brought out (Return to text)